Positivity

Lately, I have been having a rough time. In life, emotionally, physically, mentally...all of it.

However, I have decided that I am going to try and put more effort into being positive and happy. I have spent the past few months in a downward spiral of depression and negativity. I put a lot of energy into complaining and being pessimistic. Not entirely on purpose, but I could be directing that energy into more positive pursuits. After spending so many of my teenage years in darkness, I want to be light.

Last night, during a date, I raised the question: "Do you have any regrets in life?". This question is meaningful to me because I try my damndest to not have any regrets. I don't want to change anything in my life because I like where I am now. I mentioned to a coworker that I regret how I got back together with my ex for a brief amount of time after breaking up even though it was not truly what I wanted. However, I don't regret that, because if I didn't get back together with my ex, there is no telling what would have happened in those months and I may not have met the girl that I am currently dating.

I would go through all of that heartache, self-loathing, tears and arguments again and again if it meant that I would wind up meeting this girl.

The sun is finally out after days and days of being overcast and rainy. I am someone who is extremely influenced by the weather and I cannot wait for spring and summer. The oppression of winter seems so unbearable at times and there is no escape. But I will persevere.

Good vibes.